Relationships in 2024
I don’t know about you, but I know that my relationships have taken a hit in the past 5 years.
In 2019, our Annual Forum’s topic was “connections”. We chose it because it is a big part of what we do - create connections. A perfect topic for our 10 Year Anniversary.
In my opening, I made a case for the importance of connections, which was to combat the rise of loneliness and it’s impact. The US Surgeon General, Vice Admiral Vivek H. Murthy, MD, MBA had also identified loneliness as a growing health epidemic.
In 2020, well, you know what happened. We were quarantined. Separated from our workplaces, circles, networking events, after school activities, friends and other family - we looked for any way we could to make connections.
2021 was not any better and in fact it was confusing. Can we gather or not? How do we gather if we do? What is social distancing? How many people can we fit in a room if we have to be 6’ apart?
In 2022, while some things were improving, we were still craving shared experiences and connection in many ways. And I wrote about improving relationships in my February blog post.
2023 saw us still hungover from the pandemic and trying to figure out where to spend our precious time, with who and how. We had gotten used to being alone, wearing the “work mullet” as my friend Heidi Metro says, being at home for everything - blurring the lines of working and recharging.
As we move into 2024 - we are still trying to figure it out and still craving shared experiences and connection.
Gallup recently reported that “Nearly one in four people worldwide -- which translates into more than a billion people -- feel very or fairly lonely, according to a recent Meta-Gallup survey of more than 140 countries.”
So what’s the “cure”? Well, relationships.
Relationships are not only the cure to loneliness but it can also lower stress, improve your physical health and combat burnout. In a recent video, Simon Sinek shared his Strategies to Avoid Burnout. Which were:
Relationships, relationships, relationships
Having people you can talk with, vent to, who have your back…Prioritizing me time
Blocking time to recharge, catch up, create, etc. and protecting those moments.
Having people who support you, understand your boundaries and will be there for you is a top priority. Who are those people for you?
Dunbar’s Number - 150
This is the typical number of people we can keep track of and consider part of our social network (not social media network…).
Read more here.
According to Dr. Robin Dunbar, author of the book Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships, we all have about 150 people we would call friends and within that - they break down further into groups based on how close they are to us. Family can be part of these numbers too.
So who are those 15 very close friends you can turn to or the 5 who are your in your inner circle? If you are having a hard time naming those individuals - time to start working on your relationships.
Where to start?
Small steps are better than nothing. Because nothing changes if nothing changes…right? Here are a few suggestions.
Creating New Relationships
Talk to a stranger – you feel better after 30 seconds of talking to someone in person
Aim for meeting one new person a week or a month (we’re only on week 5 of the year…)
Attend one new event per month (watch our calendar for a few…)
Join a group with similar interests - this might be a peer group (we know some!), a community service group, a pickleball group…
Strengthening Current Relationships
Choose actual, physical face time – it actually boosts endorphins.
But if you can’t do it in person – do use Face Time or Google Meet or Zoom – it will help strengthen those bonds you built in person.Reconnect with someone you haven’t seen for a while
Stop “phubbing” - a combination of “phone” and “snubbing” where you glance at your phone during a conversation
Send a regular text to check-in - Elmo did
Make a list of five people in your life that you care about, and give one of them a phone call*
Research shows that it takes 90 hours of time together to consider someone a friend and more than 200 hours to consider them a close friend with whom you have an emotional connection.
In our January Circle meetings, one of the questions we asked during check-in was: What is one thing you are keeping in the new year?
Some of the responses we received:
Making more connections.
People who energize me and fill me up.
Getting out more and more social interaction.
Continuing to put connections first.
Partnerships with real actors (not the Oscar winning kind).
Building relationships.
Wishing you a year of connection, shared experiences and stronger relationships!
